This parody is aimed at all the naysayers and "haters" on the forums that can do nothing but bash a car they have yet to see. A little Holiday cheer entitled:
The Corvette®
Enthusiast’s Night Before Christmas
By Rick Tavel ©2012 All Rights Reserved
Was a brand new C7, engineered by Tadge!
It’d been years in the making, and soon would be shown
To frustrated enthusiasts who had started to moan!
With Jalopnik®’s renderings, C&D’s, and more
The excitement was epic like never before!
I typed in the website and looked for the thread
About the C7 containing nothing but dread!
Forget the fact they’ve been successful for years
Every expert on the forums expressed nothing but fears!
How many horses were under the hood,
But that’s not important, no one understood.
They talked of the charts and debated the curves
The discussion so detailed it got on my nerves!
Very little was “right” from the front to the back,
The car simply was wrong for the road and the track!
Roofline and “B Pillar” windows were cursed
Tradition was shunned to give way for this “first”!
By so many “experts” without foundation of seeing
The real car, the performance, it’s essence of being!
Harley Earl, the greatest designer of all,
Shinoda and Mitchell, I also gave call.
“Calm down, my friend, why all the commotion?
The naysayers are wrong and they don’t have a notion.
Over sixty years we’ve fulfilled all your dreams
And on 1-13 we will be redeemed
So turn off the critics, forget all the worry
January 13th will be here in a hurry.”
Then back to my bed
and back to my dreams
My concerns all
assuaged, so right it all seems.But I heard Zora exclaim as he faded from sight
“The C7’s a winner to all a goodnight.”
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